Reflections on the last half of 2025. CW: Medical problems
Life is unpredictable. It’s messy. It’s often traumatic. Case in point, my experiences in the last half of 2025.
In August, I had extreme gut pain. Lasted several days, then eased up. Finally went to the ER because I couldn’t break my fever. Turns out I had appendicitis, and the dang thing had already exploded. (High Pain Threshold as a disadvantage, gamers).
They can’t find a way to drain the abscess, and decide not to do surgery, so they treat the infection and send me home. Now, I’m immuno-compromised, so it wasn’t super surprising that the infection came back. But i also had a ton of other complications surrounding it, resulting in me getting hospitalized again, this time for 24 days. In a hospital in a different city from my family, who had work, and kids to watch, and parents to take care of. So for 24 days I’m in near total isolation, in a hospital, with tubes and IVs in me, not allowed anything to eat or drink for nearly all that time. Nasogastric tubes are pretty much the worst thing ever. Enormous pain that even the narcotics they give me, which leave me zoned and brain-numb, don’t really fix. Two major abdominal surgeries. (I’m still recovering from those now, daily dresing changes to open belly wounds.) It was . . . rough.
All this to explain where I’ve been, my lack of new writing, etc, but also to think about. It definitely had effects on me, and we’ll see how my mindset is different going forward.
In addition to all the things that I had to endure, were all the things I missed. I missed my three year old daughter enjoying Halloween and really getting what was going on for the first time. I missed Thanksgiving. I was home by then, but so drugged I basically don’t remember it. I missed months of writing, of work, of running games (both home and paid, my main income is from professional game mastering) so not only did I not engage in my creative outlets, I made no money. So that made for its own problems. We barely scraped by, mostly due to the kindness of strangers. Still could use help, honestly, catching up. Support the site directly or hit up my Ko-Fi. https://www.ofgodsandgamemasters.com/support-me
or
https://ko-fi.com/ofgodsandgamemasters66683/goal?g=51
Like everything else, this experience is grist for the mill. It will come out in my writing. It gave me a more solid reverence for my health, for the fragility of my own life, for how much I need my family. But it also left me cold, depressed, and hurting. Today is the anniversary of my father’s death. The holidays are . . . complicated.
Life is unpredictable. It’s messy. It’s often traumatic. Nothing is promised, so make the best of the time you have, and treasure your loved ones while you can. (If you’re a writer, every experience is inspiration. But that doesn’t mean that some of them aren’t best avoided.)
